For the last 6 weeks or so, I have been struggling for a number of reasons. As I have mentioned before, I have cutback on my participation in events that are prominently cancer related, mostly for my own peace of mind. I am trying to return to my "new normal," and being reminded of where I was 18 months to a year ago only triggers all kinds of bad feelings. I haven't been to an OC support group in over a month, I skipped the local Relay for Life, I have even been avoiding writing a blog post.
Next weekend I will be attending the Ovarian Cancer Research Fund Alliance National Conference here in Chicago. I have an Angel that funded my registration, since I found out about scholarship opportunities too late to apply, and I will be sharing a room with one of the women from a Facebook group that was set up for attendees. I feel conflicted about attending. On the one hand, I am excited to be spending the weekend downtown. I love the city of Chicago this time of year, and I love to share it with people. On the other hand, I worry about how spending the entire weekend with OC survivors will make me feel. To be honest, I am very apprehensive about it.
School has been out since the beginning of June, but I went right into teaching summer school at two difference schools, so I really haven't had much of a break. One summer school class ends today, the other will end July 21st. The following week I am involved with a week long summer camp for middle school girls aimed at encouraging them to look at app development. This is the first year the camp will be run in Chicago, and I am super excited to be involved! Here's the link If you want to read more about it.
I have also been struggling with sticking to my marathon training plan. I am supposed to be in Week 6 of my plan, but I haven't been running regularly since I completed my half marathon in April. I did run the Brunch Run 5K in support of Imerman's Angels. I completed it last year. It's a well run race, for a terrific cause. I had a long talk with my coach on Tuesday because I am trying to decide if I should defer my entry to the Chicago Marathon until next year (I received an email offering me that option about 3 weeks ago.) Our talk was very helpful! I explained all the crap that is going on in my life (there is so much I haven't posted about here, thankfully none of it is health related) and how instead of being a stress reliever, looking at the weekly long runs on my training plan were putting me into a panic. We decided that I didn't have to make the decision to defer right now; the email said I have until September 19th). She suggested that I put a reminder in my phone for the week before. She also had me make a chore chart with all the run related training on it and keep it visible. She offered me an incentive if I completed all the running activities in a week.
Today was the second day in a row that I got out of bed early enough to get a run in before school. Yesterday the plan called for 45 minutes. Today was either a rest or a makeup day, so I did my 30 minute run. Tomorrow should be easier, since the class I teach tomorrow doesn't start until 10:15. That means I don't have to wake up at 4:30am to get my run in!
I ordered a paper planner that I am hoping will help me get my life goals in order. This is the planner I decided to get. They don't call it a planner, they call it the Self Journal. It is supposed to help me put together daily routines that will get me closer to my goals. I decided to give it a shot because I am hoping it will help me focus on what is important. I will check in after a few weeks and let you all know!